Where are all my homies at, yeah.....

OK. So a few people have asked me, "What's been up?" And my standard response is "nothin'." But that goes off the assumption that people don't really want to know and/or don't care- but then what if they genuinely want to know?? So here, in blogtastic form:

WORK:
I work 8-5, M-F at DCF. I work for the part of the department that licenses day cares- so basically a paperwork and protocol job. Good fun-It's a great job, but the pay is terrible. I may get a promotion but with no degree it's hard to say so I've taken a second job at the Winn-Dixie near my house, 4 nights a week, 8pm-12am. Come on up and see me, next time you're in Pace, and I'll fondle your bananas for you. And I will be ever so grateful for a diversion from the usual nightly white-trash-o-rama!

SCHOOL:
It'll happen,I swear. One day, it will. I am paying my student loan monthly, in huge chunks. I'll finish paying in January, when I get my tax return and can just knock the rest out of the park. Then I'll go to school somewhere, probably USF in Tampa, but we'll see. Most likely I'll just complete my AA here (I only have like, 9 credits left!) and then go on.

Living with Mom:
Sucks. a bunch. But the longer I'm here, the more money I save- my plan is to save up a fat wad of cash and then head for the door. Maybe, MAYBE I will stay here until I finish at PJC! Found some great houses and would LOVE to move downtown,of course. She is getting worse,though, and that makes it hard to just go, no matter how sick I am of being considered a child. I wish that Alex weren't so useless, and I wish she'd quit. Weekends are the worst,because she walks around wheezing and bitching about the lawn getting mowed or whatever, and does some useless task that renders her totally incapacitated. Then she sits looking martyred and we have the same arguments over and over: "Mum. I told you I would do this once Brandon was in bed"..... I feel sixteen all the time but with a kid and bills. Very frustrating and I still do all the shopping, errands,etc. on my precious and rare free time- and am never thanked. Sick of guys wanting to hang out sans Brandon and saying "can't your Mom watch him?? Why not?"- Sick of explaining everything all the time.

Lovelife
Also kind of sucks. I shouldn't be dating at all, really- I mean I don't have any serious time to devote to a relationship, just ask B. or J.L.!
Classic post-Brian dating moment:
He: I don't want to be the one who puts forth all the effort!
Me: (I SAY): "All the effort?! I don't think you do. I think I put forth a good deal also."
What I should have said: "oh yeah, finding a babysitter, then coming to pick me up on one of your few days off from work and drive me around and buy me shit and entertain me while you're trying to clean the house and give me head whenever must really be tiring. Oh wait. That's me that does all that. More effort,huh?"
Maybe he meant romantic effort, because I wasn't gonna say I love you after twofreakin weeks! I don't know. After 3 dates with B. it was "I don't like to share." And wanted to live together! Three dates! And we could never go anywhere where you couldn't get beer! And I don't know, I was good to him and he never took an interest in my life. So eventually I started blowing him off.
I don't get boys.... Had 2 dates recently and I think it just furthered my idea that the guys I like really aren't that into me, except for as a poa or a diversion, but the other ones, the weirdo Pace freaks, who carve beasts for a living and smell like CAT FOOD, are telling me they think I am the one. For fuck's sake. So. All of that translates into hurt or confusion or exhaustion, whether suffered or afflicted. Fuck if I know what to do, short of giving up and marrying Dan.

Brandon:
Is the axle that spins my world. I am so in love with my tiny boyfriend! Developing new traits every day and almost ready to potty train. Dropping him off at daycare kills me.
For a while, his teachers thought he was falling behind the standardized levels but has since reached way past those levels. Of course- I think that the non-communicative side of him is more personality than mind. It's hard to be a parent and feel like you know some things about your child that nobody else can see. It's hard to be a parent, period. Of course, I write about that in here all the time- because you constantly second guess yourself when children are involved. But he's great. He's happy, and healthy, and intelligent, and good-natured. He's 19 1/2
months old now. Walks,talks. He calls everyone in the family 'baby'- "Heyyy bahbee" "Buh bye bahbee", "no bahbee! No bahbee!" and my favorite- "woah, bahbee!"- and has crazy hair- wonder where he gets THAT?;p

I'm getting a cold or something, my throat hurts. I am stressed out, get no sleep,and walk around so tired that I start dreaming as SOON as my eyes close for anything longer than a blink.
My friends are teriffic and I don't see enough of them. (everyone remember to wish Jack good luck on the Trail!!) I have been seriously anxious lately.
Bammy's dad is still just as horrid as ever. But too pathetic to be really noticed. Thinks he'll get kicked out of his gf's parents' home, plans to live in a tent- if,of course, he doesn't go to jail- and still calls demanding to see "my boy" but when I tell him about Brandon, still can't be bothered to listen, cuts me off to thrill me with the mundanity of his happy little Gulf Shores life. Hides beer in his car and drinks when they're not looking. Can come to MILTON for his pills but West Pensacola to see Brandon is just "too much" or "impossible". I wish I could shoot blue laser beams from my eyes.
Other that that,doing quite well,keeping busy and keeping life full. Happy, having fun, enjoying my comedic existence.I just wish there were more hours in the day. More like minded people around.